Because of my own childhood and life experiences, I am able to help my family, and other kids and parents navigate some of these difficult issues.

When my 6^th grade granddaughter came out as bisexual at school, she was bullied for it. My daughters and I raised our families to be inclusive and to respect diversity, which is why my 12 year old granddaughter felt safe to “come out as bisexual” to one of her friends.  That friend then told other girls at school, and they all cornered her on the playground, bullying her viciously.  The girls did not face any consequences for their actions.  Instead, they carried their bullying behavior into Junior High School, enlisting other students to join in their cruelty.  Neither the schools nor the parents put an end to the bullying.

That wasn’t the first time she was bullied, either. When my granddaughter was in early elementary school she had a love of singing, and was blessed with an exceptionally beautiful voice at a very young age.  I was so happy because she shared my love of singing and songwriting!  I vividly remember the first time she sang a song for me that she’d been working on.  It was so incredibly beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.

Sadly to say, her love of singing didn’t last long.  After a sleepover, when a couple of girls found out about her singing abilities, they became jealous and started bullying her.  That same week I went to visit her so I could hear her new song, but she had lost her voice.  She could barely speak.  I thought it was a virus and that she would soon be well, but after 6 months, she still could not sing.  That’s when I realized it was a symptom of a deeper problem and talked with her about it.  I reminded her that she was blessed with a great gift, and not to let the petty behavior of others rob her of her dreams.  We discussed famous singers who had faced similar bullying, including Lady Gaga, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, and Britney Spears, but my granddaughter said she didn’t want to face bullying for doing something she loved.  Her mind was made up no matter what I said.  She had given up her dream of being a singer or songwriter.  I was heartbroken for her and hoped that she would find her voice again eventually.

These events started my granddaughter on a downward spiral of anxiety, PTSD, and depression.  At times, accumulated Dis-Ease and depression led her to feel self-destructive, even to the extent of thinking about taking her own life.  Despite the efforts of her mother and I in talking to school administrators, nothing was done to stop the bullies.  Unfortunately, because of serious threats, my granddaughter decided it was time to fight back.  As a result of the minor altercation that ensued, the school suspended both girls; however, we understood why she felt that she had to take things into her own hands.  We weren’t upset at her; we were proud of her for standing up for herself.  

Because of the bullying in school, my daughter thought it safer to homeschool my granddaughter.  She also decided to limit her contact with social media where the bombardment of negative voices, ratings, and cyberbullying lowered her self-esteem. Thankfully my granddaughter has the support of her mom, her grandmother and my wife, her step-grandmother, as well as her own strong will, and she is learning to cope and thrive.

It was because of the destructive effects of bullying by peers, politicians and even some church leaders, that I was compelled to help my granddaughter and others like her.  It is my firmly held belief that all kids need to learn resilience, social skills, and to use the power of their voice in dealing with bullying and peer-pressure.  As an LGBTQ+ person and a cancer survivor, I felt the need to share how I healed myself from my own Dis-Ease so that I might help others learn how to heal.

I understand what it feels like to face bigotry, to be shunned and excluded so that fearful and uninformed people can be made to feel more comfortable. My healing began with forgiving myself and others, and honoring my authentic self.  There’s nothing more important than being true to yourself and expressing that truth through the power of your voice!

After much research and study, I focused my attention and talents on writing and publishing a middle grade children’s book titled  A Very Important Power-Vippi Mouse Treasure Quests by Wild West Wendy Jo. It’s an illustrated chapter book about bullying prevention, diversity, inclusion, gender expression, and gender equality.  In addition, I wrote an original song You Have The Power, to accompany the story all of which are designed to help kids realize the power of their voice, their choices, and to know that they have the power to solve almost any problem – including being bullied.  Chapters of the book are dedicated to helping bystanders become Upstanders in bullying prevention, and it addresses bullies, as well! Research has found that kids and peers have the most power and influence in bullying prevention.